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What are you waiting for?
I had taken the day off today to get the divorce papers but I was feeling real depressed to where I just layed in bed for over a day. Not even coffee in my system. I just laid there. I wrote in my diary a few times to vent out some feelings that I wouldn't say online for people to read. I weighed myself at some point today and I had lost 4 lbs in just a couple days. I remember talking witha co worker a couple days ago, she said I look like I lost weight, I told her my weight and she said I still need to lose more.
I'm not taking that as a insult. She's also trying to lose weight and I'm still not a healthy weight at being 5 foot. I know that I am not considered obese anymore though...which is good I guess..although when I see myself in the mirror...I see see the fat image in mymind. I still consider myself fat and ugly...but I'm working on it.
Rich finally gave me rent money but he is short. 4 days late on rent and I had to pay for most of it. He told me he got overdrated on Friday which makes no sense cause we got paid on Friday and he makes a little more money than me. I texted him today saying he was short and he said he only has 100 bucks to himself..to feed himself for 2 weeks. Yeah right. He says he will give me the rest on the 20th..he'll leave it in the car. Okay..well he better. I just want what he owes me.
Still no words on moving out yet...still waiting....it scares me a little knowing that I will be even more completely alone..but I will have to live. I wish that I could find some things toget my mind off of negative things. My eyes are real sore from crying a lot. I thought of some things that I could do though..keep my mind busy. Just wish I had someone to be with to keep me company..people to talk to that would want to talk to me. It really hurts when someone tells you that they think we talk too much when they're that one special person in your life right now.
