I enjoy hunting zombies, testicle hockey and tap dancing.

I eat paint and enjoy public urination. Not doing it, just watching it.

In my spare time I beat up hookers and solve petty crimes with my pet lemur. I don't wear a cape, however, I may just decide to wear panties that day.

I like to dance, however most people ask me NOT to.
Burgundy turns me on. Not the wine, the colour.

If you don't find this remotely amusing, check your pulse. This is some classic comedy. And chances are, you're a zombie and I'll hunt you down and quite possibly make you listen to Warrant.

I'm easy going and have a bit of a warped sense of humour. That's how I roll, yo. I currently reside in Niagara Falls, Ontario. Word.

P.S. I find it really creepy when married guys flirt with me.