Random facts about Moi:

I didn't vote for either George Bush
April 2oth is not my New Years
I don't tear the tags off my mattresses til I get home
I always stop to pet dogs outside of grocery stores
I only use the rail when I walk down the stairs 30% of the time ( I love to walk the line ya know)
I've never read Playboy for the articles
I'll make you laugh
I've never been in one of Tommy Lee's movies
I'll never under cook the eggs
I'll never drink your last beer
I can make a mean pot of chili
I'll pretend I didn't see you look at that chick with the big boobs
I'll always be impressed with how strong you are
I know that handcuffs aren't just for the cops
I've never kicked a boy in the balls
I recycle
I do know how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop
I won't steal the vicoden out of your medicine cabinet
I'll take care of you when you're sick and sometimes just because I think you're the shit
I'll make fun of you
I come with my own set of ear plugs in case of snoring
I can give a kick ass back rub
I haven't been a house guest of O.J. Simpson
I like porn
I can't stand soaps
I don't care if you leave the seat up
I pump my own gas
I've got cookies
I don't chew tobacco
I take a shower every day, twice even sometimes
I like it when you pull my hair
I'll let you beat me at pool
I'll keep working until I chip away at your walls
I don't eat crackers in bed too often
I think it's hot when you come home all dirty from playing hard
I like it when dogs sleep in the bed
I don't care what music we listen to in the car
I've never eaten a bon-bon in my life
I'd never ask you to go to lunch with my mother
When you wash the dishes it turns me on
I won't ever forget your birthday, and remind you when mine is coming
I can pee standing up (it's totally gross though)
I've never even seen one episode of Dawson's Creek or Gilmore Girls
I always use my nails to scratch a lottery ticket
I know where to put in the oil, and have even done it it
My friends are hot
I don't have hardly any guy friends
I think pizza and a game at the sports bar down the street is the ideal date
I won't fuck your friends
I won't fuck your brother
The kinkier the better
What the hell is "in the box"?
I always open a window when I paint
I've never been on Americas Most Wanted
The only drama I have any part of is on t.v.
I know how to make a fire
I've got secret tattoos
My kisses will take your breath away
I didn't vote for the 25 ft smoking law
My burritos are the bomb
I never drive faster than 30 mph in a school zone
My weird habits you'll find adorable
I have a membership at 3 video stores
I'll thank you every time you open the door
I'll laugh at every joke even when it's not funny
I'd never give you shit in front of your friends
I'll help you find your keys
I don't stop and ask for directions either
I try not to pick my nose, or butt in public
I've never owned anything Hello Kitty
I don't need batteries
I once ate a cricket
I eat red meat
I can kill my own spiders
I always have smooth legs
I like it when my hair gets messed up
I used to be able to put my feet behind my neck
I got suspended in high school 3 times
My daughter already has a dad
I like horror movies
I smell pretty good most of the time
I don't litter
When I can I give to charity
I can be ready in 30 minutes or less
I lose at arm wrestling every time
I've got dirty pictures of myself on my computer
I look both ways before I cross the street
I have cable and HBO
I never look directly into the sun
I'm not a virgin
I'll show you my boobs at the store when nobody's looking
I old enough to remember when the space shuttle crashed
I still get carded almost every time I get booze
I won't ever leave makeup on your shoulder
I've never hung a pair of panty hose on the shower rack in my life
I can balance a check book
I'll help you not to forget your moms birthday
I would never yell "fire" in a crowded theatre
I"m really good at sneaking food into the movies
I'll never say 'nothings wrong' when there really is
I know how to hold my own hair back when I puke
My fingers can spill out Mary Had A Little Lamb on the piano better than Ray Charles
I've never cried over spilt milk
I have never stabbed anyone in the eye
I can count to 100 by 5's
I've never smuggled drugs out of the country
I never overload the washer
I know that whipped cream goes on more than sundaes
I've never auditioned for American Idol
I don't eat yellow snow
My sunday morning breakfasts will change your life
I'm just that good
I never had sexual relations with Bill Clinton or anyone named Bill ever
I'm a pepper
You're getting very sleepy...
I've never been on Jerry Springer
I may have already won $10,000,000.
I have a subscription to The Nation Magazine and Readers Digest
I know that sticks are better than automatics
I'll let you drive every time if you want
I buy a new toothbrush every time the blue wears down
I know that objects in the mirror are bigger than they appear
I would never send you to the store for tampons
Flowers will get you laid every time
I've never gotten caught lip syncing on SNL
I have a $3.24 credit at PayLess Shoes
I have clean socks that you can borrow if you run out
I never leave the engine running while I'm pumping gas
I never run with scissors
I've taken the Coke/Pepsi challenge and won
Almost every time I have a winning bottle top
I know how to keep a secret
If you spell something wrong I just think it's cute
I've never failed a survey
I can almost every time find Waldo
I never put my fingers in the light socket
I'm a Libra
I have all my shots
I'm pretty damn funny
I'm not a doctor and I've never played one on t.v. either
I don't care if you eat off my plate
When you're sleeping I'll always try to be quiet
I have never run out of gas (well I just screwed myself there now, didn't I?)
I know the difference between they're, their, and there
I know how to get stains out of tshirts
I've seen every episode of "The Mind of Mencia"
I've got rad hair
I'm really good at making lists !