Okay, so I was bored and yesterday a friend commented the second alarms hotties group blog, I guess asking to join, I have seen a few of their members in the mumms with as usual the normal fu begging status, though when reading their code of conduct, I figured what the hell and decided to do a satirical blog about them. If you have a problem with it, news flash I do not care, do not waste My time or yours whining to Me, just block Me and get it over with.
Here goes, By the numbers are what their REAL code of conducts say, being the nice guy that I am I figured I would help out their future members and current ones who may not understand what these rules mean, so under each rule or code of conduct I have put the hidden meaning that that particular code means.
*goes back to My cave to find something else to pick at, for the sake of enjoying Myself*
have fun minions!
COC... (code of conduct) 2nd Alarm Hotties
1. All 2nd Alarm Hotties Prospects must have a verified salute and a minimum of 15 "current" pics.
Oh yes, we must make sure you have no abnormal features, you know, a brain. But other than that you will be perfectly fine, oh yes and must be physically attractive, cause ya know that’s what its all about on here right!?
2. All Hotties must be female.
I mean come on, we can’t very well have the chief feeling threatened by other men that the women will definitely find more attractive. I mean an all female family being run by a male, *for some reason makes me think of a brothel, oh yea that would just be degrading them right? … *
3. Must sign the COC (code of conduct) with agree to be placed for voting procedure.
Oh yea, ya know not like any one can lie about agreeing to silly net things, oh yes
“in fu retard tone”
Teh netz iz seriiz bizness….morons
4. Shout box and Fu-mail must be open to officers for communications (Profile may not be set to friends only for this purpose).
Oh yes, we must have constant access to your pic… I mean page to make sure you’re following our rules, I mean fu-gods forbid you’re actually having a brain and doing your own thing, oh noes you need the fu family for closeness, togetherness *cough* and teh pointz
5. 2nd Alarm Hottie homepage must be added to your Family while considered a prospect and remain in family after admittance. Firechief (The founder of the 2nd Alarm Hotties) must be added to your family list as well but doesnt have to be on the top 7 list, just as long as hes in family list for him to be accessable to you when u need to contact him for any reason,Also your Team Leaders must be added to your Top Friends.
[decipher]
a. “2nd Alarm Hottie homepage must be added to your”
Oh yes we must have constant access to your nudes, you know we have to sell your nudes to any one who gives us bling, oh the precious bling, blast, tickers etc..
b. “Firechief (The founder of the 2nd Alarm Hotties) must be added to your family list as well”
Oh yes, the old man needs to masturbate to your pics, friends list isn’t good enough since many woman sell rights to be put in family so they can see your nudes. So we made this a prerequisite before joining and being accepted. If you ask nicely he can paint your photos for you [Paint photos = to make photographs or videos cumming on another’s photo]…hey the old man needed a way to see women’s nudes for free without spending loads of money on them… GENIUS ...fubar family for only women and he must be added to fam,,, why didn’t I think of that :P
c. “but doesnt have to be on the top 7 list, just as long as hes in family list for him to be accessable to you when u need to contact him for any reason”
He doesn’t care if he’s in top friends, he just wishes for the ability to see your nudes, um and I know the 2nd alarm hotties are not known for the most part for brains but can some one tell them the word is “accessible” and not “accessable” I mean we must teach these wayward women some English.
“him to be accessable to you” [r nude pics] :P
6. All new 2nd Alarm Hotties will be assigned a team leader who we recommend be placed in your top friends for communication purposes, however, this is not a requirement.
We understand that you women are not smart enough to understand eleven things, so we shall assign you a overseer in case your moronic brain needs refreshments for these simple eleven rules. Simple, simpleton, brains for independent thinkers not assimilated minds.
7. You must add '2nd Alarm Hottie Prospect' to your name while awaiting results of the weekly voting. If you are voted in, it should be changed to'2nd Almarm Hotties'.
a. maybe its My perfectionist mind set, but damn it “Almarm Hotties” if you can not proof read your own blogs, then just maybe you shouldn’t be writing them, just a thought.
b. like with the MFKN morons, they want you to brand your self one of the idiots who needed to be assimilated into a group to have a sense of purpose, which is why they wish for you to place such in your name so that we can spot the retardation a mile away.
8. All current 2nd Alarm Hotties officers must be added to your friends list (LINKS PROVIDED BELOW) Fanning and rating is preferred but not required. After officers, your team mates and all other 2nd Alarm Hottie members should be added as well. If they do not accept the add please let us know.
a. “All current 2nd Alarm Hotties officers must be added to your friends”
We must keep an eye on you to ensure you continue to spread the idiocy to the masses.
b. “LINKS PROVIDED BELOW”
just in case you're too lazy to put the donut down for five minutes to go to our page and look at the family list.
c. “If they do not accept the add please let us know.”
Oh fu-gods forbid they will not want you on their list for the sake of idiotic reasons, I mean NO how dare they exercise any form of free will and original thought! Such free thought must be kicked out at once!
9. It is the responsibility of all 2nd Alarm Hotties to repost any related bulletins. This is very important. If we do not see you reposting we will send out a warning. If you dont know how, feel free to ask any officer for help.
a. “It is the responsibility of all 2nd Alarm Hotties to repost any related bulletins”
YES you must support our point whoring, this is not negotiable.
b. “. If we do not see you reposting we will send out a warning”
If you do not support our point whoring ways we shall warn you be a point slut! If you refuse to be a slut we will remove you from the hotties!!
10. No 2nd Alarm Hottie will defame, abuse, harass, threaten or violate the rights of other members. Any member found degrading the 2nd Alarm Hotties name and/or members will have their membership terminated without any verbal or written warning.
a. “No 2nd Alarm Hottie will defame, abuse, harass, threaten or violate the rights of other members.”
Oh yes, cause an all girl group being run by a man, who says you must be attractive physically, and mentions nothing of intelligence is not defaming the women as is, I mean fu-gods forbid that one of you women have a brain and see the idiocy within such a group! How dare you have a fucking brain!
b. “Any member found degrading the 2nd Alarm Hotties”
Any member found degrading the name of a group based on the degradation of women would be kicked out of the group.. .wait… what?...
c. “without any verbal or written warning.”
We can not allow you to submit an intelligent defense as to reasons why, we may have no come back.
11. In order to uphold organization among the group, we follow a chain of command. Members must always report to Team Leaders. As a group, we encourage you to speak freely to all of your officers. Management reserves the right to revise, implement, and enforce the C.O.C. accordingly. You are allowed 7 days to conform with all C.O.C.rules. If rules are not followed you will be sent a reminder via e-mail. If the warning is ignored you will be asked to leave the Hotties.
Thank You,
2nd Alarm Hotties Management
a. “In order to uphold organization among the group, we follow a chain of command”
Do what we say or we kick you out!
b. “. Members must always report to Team Leaders”
We must keep tabs on you! we can not allow you to do stuff on your own, who knows you may wise up and actually ponder about getting a brain, we mustn’t allow such to happen.
c. “Management reserves the right to revise, implement, and enforce the C.O.C. accordingly”
If we decide there is not enough point whoring going on we shall implement new rules to get your brain more in tuned with the ways of the point slut
d. “You are allowed 7 days to conform with all C.O.C.rules”
WHAT!!! Conform, as in assimilate with them, oh yes free thoughts shall be suppressed at every corner!
e. “If rules are not followed you will be sent a reminder via e-mail”
If you can not conform, we will threaten you with expulsion! Oh noes membership through scare tactics!!!! LMAO
