I’m a modern man, a man for the millennium, digital and smoke free, a diversified, multicultural post modern deconstructionalist, politically, anatomically and ecologically incorrect. I’ve been uplinked and downloaded, I’ve been input and outsourced, I know the upside of downsizing, I know the downside of upgrading. I’m a high-tech low-life, a cutting-edge, state of the art, bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I’m new-wave but I’m old-school and my inner-child is outward-bound. I’m a hot-wired, heat-seeking, warm-hearted cool-customer, voice-activated and bio-degradable. I interface with my database, my database is in cyberspace, so I’m interactive, I’m hyperactive and from time to time I’m radioactive. Behind the eight-ball, ahead of the curve, riding the wave, dodging the bullet and pushing the envelope. I’m on-point, on-task, on-message and off drugs. I got no need for coke and speed, I got no urge to binge and purge. I’m in-the-moment, on-the-edge, over-the-top but under-the-radar. A high-concept, low-profile, medium-range ballistic missionary. A street-wise smart-bomb, a top-gun bottom-feeder. I wear power-ties, I tell power-lies, I take power-naps and run victory laps. I’m a totally on-going, big-foot, slam-dunk rain-maker with a pro-active out-reach. A raging work-aholic, a working rage-aholic, out of rehab and in denial.

I’ve got a personal trainer, a personal shopper, a personal assistant and a personal agenda. You can’t shut me up, you can’t dumb me down, because I’m tireless and I’m wireless, I’m an alpha-male on beta-blockers. I’m a non-believer and an over-achiever, laid-back but fashion-forward. Up-front, down-home, low-rent, high-maintenance. Super-sized, long-lasting, high-definition, fast-acting, oven-ready and built-to-last. I’m a hands-on, foot-loose, knee-jerk head-case. Pre-maturely post-traumatic and I have a love-child who sends me hate-mail. But I’m feeling, I’m caring, I’m healing, I’m sharing. A supportive bonding, nurturing primary care-giver. My output is down but my income is up. I take a short-position on the long-bond and my revenue stream has its own cash-flow. I read junk-mail, I eat junk-food, I buy junk-bonds and I watch trash-sports. I’m gender-specific, capital-intensive, user-friendly and lactose-intolerant.

I like rough-sex, I like tough-love. I use the f-word in my e-mail and the software on my hard-drive is hard-core, no soft-porn. I bought a microwave at a mini-mall; I bought a mini-van in a mega-store. I eat fast-food in the slow-lane. I’m toll-free, bite-sized, ready-to-wear, and I come in all sizes. A fully-equipped, factory-authorized, hospital-tested, clinically-proven, scientifically-formulated medical-miracle. I’ve been pre-washed, pre-cooked, pre-heated, pre-screened, pre-approved, pre-packaged, post-dated, freeze-dried, double-wrapped, vacuum-packed and I have an unlimited broad-band capacity.

I’m a rude-dude but I’m the real-deal, lean and mean, cocked, locked and ready to rock. Rough, tough and hard to bluff. I take it slow, I go with the flow, I ride with the tide, I got glide in my stride. Drivin’ and movin’, sailin’ and spinnin’, jivin’ and groovin’, wailin’ and winnin’. I don’t snooze, so I don’t lose, I keep the pedal to the metal and the rubber on the road. I party hardy and lunch-time is crunch-time. I’m hangin’ in, there aint no doubt and I’m hangin’ tough, over and out.