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A WOMAN'S POEM:
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong.
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks.
I pray he's rich and self-employed,
And when I spend, won't be annoyed.
Pull out my chair and hold my hand..
Massage my feet and help me stand.
Oh send a king to make me queen.
A man who loves to cook and clean.
I pray this man will love no other.
And relish visits with my mother.


A MAN'S POEM:

I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with
big tits who owns a bar on a golf course,
and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This
doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit.




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And here are a few pieces of one woman's advice to all men...

The reason why our bras don't always match our outfit is because we actually change our underwear.

If we watch football with you, it's not bonding -- it's the butts we're looking at...

We don't care if you hold the remote -- unlike you however, we don't enjoy watching 27 seconds of 117 different programs.

If the truth hurts, ask us those ego-sensitive questions on your payday or when you're treating us to dinner and a show.

No, we're not impressed with your car -- it takes no special skills to make car payments each month.

If you were really looking for an honest answer, you wouldn't ask in bed...

The next time you and your buddies joke about armed women in combat, take a poll to see which of you successfully aim inside the toilet rim.

If only women gossip, how do you and your friends keep track of "who's easy"?

Have a strong need for male bonding ? Visit your proctologist...

Stop telling us most male strippers are gay: we don't care!

Your contributions to your children should go above and beyond that "Y" chromosome you unselfishly sacrificed.

Eye contact is best established above our shoulder-level.

***********************************************************

I'm selfish, impatient, and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times
hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at
my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me
at my best.
~Marilyn Monroe~