Things to mention BEFORE you bother with sending me a friend request:

I'm not interested in collecting friends. If you're not going to talk or interact in some way regularly keep going. If you have some sort of aversion to men over 35 interacting with you at all. Obviously you should keep going. If you're still here, buckle up buttercup. I only get worse from here. I am a pre-2010 Fubarian. That means I remember what this place looked like before the power up blings and the 5 different elite level colors. I'm not impressed or intimidated by any of it. If you're here to get me to kiss your ring I have something you can kiss on your way out. If that offended you, you probably ought to leave. If you laughed, stick around. You might actually enjoy the rest. Along with being old school I'm just plain old. Relatively speaking at least. I'm well aware that I'm old enough to be some of y'alls father. But while I may be old. I'm not quite dead. If it's there I will probably look. If you don't want someone my age looking...Do I really need to explain how the internet works to you? Come sit on daddy's lap and I'll break it all down for you...Still here? I only get worse. Let me break a few things down for you Barney style. If you know, you know. I'm sarcastic. In case that wasn't obvious. I'm also a bit of a perv. That one I'm pretty sure was obvious. Now, to clarify. Being a perv is NOT the same as being a creep. The difference being manners and respect. While as a perv I love to look and occasionally comment, I'm not a creep so I do not feel entitled to look nor do I make comments that would make someone feel they need to wash their eyes with bleach for reading them. I'm also a big supporter of the "little guy" or girl, whichever. That means if I catch someone harassing someone I'm very likely to interject my quick wit into the conversation. Whether I know the victim or not. I'm an asshole. But I'm an equal opportunity asshole. And some have even said a loveable asshole...And no I didn't pay them. If you'd like to know more you can send a friend request. But you should know there are some things I look for before I accept those.

1. A salute. If you've been here for 6 months you should know how to do this already. If you're new and need help send me a pm or get in my sb and I'll help as much as I can. **EDIT** Due to the fact salutes appear to be going the way of the dodo despite being much easier to obtain than when I started I suppose I ought to let this one slide...

2. Don't be an entitled "elite" snob. Again, pre-2010 Fubarian. I've seen some of you around for awhile and I don't like you. And contrary to what this site lets you think, there is nothing you can do about it.

3. Proof that you read this entire thing before wasting both of our time with a friend request that will just get one of us deleted later. So since I'm me and like to make things interesting while still serving the purpose across the board your friend request must include one of the following to be approved:
A) Bra size
B) Underwear style/color
C) Body count
D) Your first pet's name

Bear in mind which option you choose will also tell me what kind of person you are. Have fun!