Moe's blog: "100 Pink Lines"

There I was 4 Years Old laying in my bed looking at the wall. Crying because I just realized My Mother and my Grandmother were going to die. Someday... I had just watched the news on the Television and realized after asking my Grandmother what the lady meant when she said that two people had died in a house fire the night before .. With a sad look in her face she told me my fate. When I asked what that meant my Grandmother told Me about Death and what it would mean. She told me that we all die and that someday I would. I asked her how long people live and with a Hearty smile she said that some people live to be 100! I remember thinking how long that seemed, and at the same time I was still Disappointed in her answer. I went to bed that night with my pink crayon clutched in my hand, as I Lay there thinking of death I made 100 pink lines with my crayon, next to my bed just under the mattress so my Mother and Grams would not find them while making the beds. As I finished my 100th line, I was Horrified to see that the lines took up only a tiny bit of space on my Wall. I had no Idea at the time how long a year lasted or How Time worked for that matter, but I knew that 100 pink Lines on my wall was not nearly enough life For anyone. I laid back and looked at the ceiling and tried to Fathom dying and what that meant and even though I was afraid to die , I Felt a loss that I cannot even to this day describe. I had Realized that someday I would More then likely Live to see My Mother and My Grandmother Die. I cried Myself to sleep that night and never spoke of it again. 18 Years Later There I was in the Hospital Sitting next to my cousin Talking about old memories , Our children and just life. I remember I was to watch my Sister while Our Mother stayed in the room with Her Mother. I remember my Mother Coming toward me , Her words were like heavy Thunder on my heart. "She is fading Leena, Come and say goodbye" I saw the pain in her eyes as she held my hand. I remember lying in bed that night thinking of the 73 Years my Grams Had and hating God for Cheating Her, Cheating her out of her 100. I cried myself to sleep that night and many more to follow. 5 Years Later There I was at her doorstep Looking out into my car seeing my 17 year old sister sitting in tow with my 6 month old son. He said the words "She is Gone she has passed" As my Sister ran to me, I saw the Pain in her eyes as She realized our Mother was gone. I remember the world stopping for a moment, I can Recall everything standing perfectly still. Every breath, Heartbeat, Smile, Glance ,Memory Frozen in time, At last when they resumed They were different. As if A color had disappeared, or A Musical Note or a Laugh from a child, Gone forever. I went to bed 2 nights later And Cried Myself to sleep Our Mother had 45, Not Nearly Enough. 7 years later Here I am, Remembering My Touch Stones Remembering a time when Life was pure, When it was Full of Love, When Being around my Women was Naturally Assumed as if Taking for granted, was a Gift, A gift I had to use at my will. And I did with Relish Take them for granted. 100 pink Lines , Today I have lived 35 of them, I have seen many things since that night when I was 4 and I have tried to live every year to the fullest. I hope I get to live my 100, But if it is not in the cards I will Remember the little girl writing on the Bedroom wall in fear of loosing, and I will fly even the faster to my Women in the Clouds who watch me and laugh with me and cry with me when I need them to. And we will all be together again floating above the Pain.. Dancing laughing and Coloring Pink Lines in the sky one by one Forever.