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#10 Life is sexually transmitted. #9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die. #8 Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. #7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won't bother you for weeks. #6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. #5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing. #4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents??? #2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. AND THE NUMBER ONE THOUGHT FOR 2008: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America , but we haven't a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.
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