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In response to the "tell us 10 things about yourself" phenomenon that is fubar blogging, I thought I'd reciprocate with 10 things about humanity that I am generally unfond of. If you hate the same ten things, please, come take me out for dinner. We can be misanthropic and hate the world together. I might even buy you a drink. Something with bitters in it.
1. You gotta be the girl with the most cake. Seriously, in a century, when you are worm food, that iPod won't mean a thang, sista. Neither will all your bling (real life here people, not fu) or the game you talk or the hotties you bed or your swagger. ALL that will matter is the impact you left on your world or the legacy you handed down. So shut up and DO something. Stop trying to collect happiness and find it in what really matters...love, kindness and compassion.
2. Being the best liar is what gets you to the top of the heap. Honesty counts for shit. It's seen as bitchiness. Yeah, ok. The better you are at pretending to be what everyone else wants you to be, the higher up you are on the pile of shame that is humanity. Hope the view is nice from the landfill.
3. Chivalry is dead. Don't argue, and if you do, show me a true knight/warrior. Men aren't chivalrous. They are just smoother at getting into your pants. Opening doors and all that will get you laid faster than you can say "mama's boy". Honour, solidarity, they don't exist. Sure, you say you'd take a bullet for the one you love. How many of you really would? Shut up. Put your hand down.
4. We seem to have retained the shitty stuff from history rather than the lessons. War, strife, religious bigotry, we can keep that!!!! But valour, strength, living as decent people, and a sense of undeniable community? Can't have that.
5. We don't need no education. In the text age, we don't even feel the need to communicate in complete sentences or well...ANYTHING intelligible anymore. It's really quite disheartening. Now, I get that some people are just plain dumb, but there is NO excuse for self-imposed retardation. Really.
6. We are a world of extremes. It's either let it all hang out and be a skank, or close up completely. Anyone who is sexual must be a whore! And anyone who isn't must be a prude! SUBTLE. We have NO class as a society, as a species. Beauty is about seduction, not ramming it down everyone's throat. Too fat? Too thin? Too tall? Too short? Too pale? Too dark? Too rich? Too poor? Too smart? Too dumb? Too nice? Too mean? We are all fucked. Is anyone not "too" SOMETHING?
7. Read a book! We are obsessed with technology. Yes, I get the irony of stating this in a web blog. But live some reality!! Get out there, meet someone, stop contributing to the isolationism of the 21st century 24/7. Gods forbid you should have a face-to-face conversation.
8. Everything is a freaking pathology. What used to be called intelligent is now obsessive compulsive. Kids having fun is ADD. Mystical? Must be schizophrenia. And whatever you do, don't fall in love...erm, sorry develop signs of codependence. But don't worry, whatever it is you've got, they've got a pill to ensure you remain numb until your dying day.
9. Everybody whines...sometimes. BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORLD. Seriously, if you didn't vote, don't bitch about the President. Stop whining about the homeless and feed someone or put a roof over their head. Give them a fresh chance. Stop kvetching about the environment and go green, really, not just this trendy lip service bull. If you aren't pro-active, shut the hell up. You are part of the problem. Want something? Get up off your overfed ass and get it. The old-fashioned way. With work. Stop asking for it, because no one will give it to you. Nothing in this life is free, baby. It only looks that way with your legs spread.
10. Everybody thinks they are the bloody Messiah. No, you aren't different. We are all a slithering pile of sleaze. Sure, a few stand out here and there, but in the end, everyone turns out to be the same. A pathetic dissappointment bred by years of even more pathetic social conditioning. So just enjoy what you've got, make the best of your lot. And don't claim to be anyone's god, hero, or mommy. Because then they might expect salvation, and salvation can only be gotten for $79.88 at your local WalMart.
