Well, if you're mathematically inclined, the subject line will likely mean I've screwed up somewhere other than within my social life.
Rather than spend my days off wishing I was hanging out with someone, I'm finally taking the advice of my ex-girlfriend and concentrating on figuring out what to do alone.
I've lived in Texas for just shy of seven months. During this time, I have met a total of oen local. Sure, I've been on road trips, but, except for the one (Jen, a.k.a.
suga², your local CherryTAP bouncer), no one local has gone out of their way to return any interest or approach me.
With my work schedule destroying what most would consider the traditional weekend (I work Wednesday through Saturday, 7 pm to 6 am), not even my co-workers are free. Therefore, I'm stuck doing things by myself. This means I either must sit home on my behind, lamenting my fate, or get up and do something.
Tonight, I went to Allen bowl. I priced a few bowling balls, and then shot four games (173, 259, 168, 197). I had a long conversation with the pro-shop owner about leagues and lane conditions, and he gave me a business card. Did I hook up? Not with any females - I'm still alone in my apartment. I made a bowling contact who got me a league rate for those four games and provided me with a means to get new bowling equipment. The difference: intent. Had I gone down there to meet people, like one would do at a bar or a club, I would have left, by myself. I also would have been very depressed at not meeting anyone... not to mention, drunk. Then I would have gone back to my apartment, drank more, and been incoherent and fallen asleep on my couch.
Tonight, my intent was to bowl. Mission accomplished.
When you do things by yourself, you're not at the mercy of anyone else's schedules, whims, "something's-come-ups," injuries, incidents, or memory. You don't have to wait for someone, and that person doesn't have to wait for you. You come home whenever you want. Sure, you don't get laid, but... you also don't have to worry about being rejected.
I've been doing it all wrong all this time. I've been expecting that people would want to hang out, given the chance. It looks as though I've already made myself a nuisance to Jen, to the point where she is getting injured rather than hanging out or even speaking to me anymore. Going forward, I have to do it right: go out on my own, lower my expectations (don't expect to meet anyone), do solely what my plan dictated I do when ready to go out, and come home.
My lease is up in the end of March of 2008. It's going to be a long road ahead...
