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Not many people on here know what has been happening.I will tell you!! If i start crying while writing this.Just mind me.I had a RL BF..I use to go out with for 4 years.I use to love him.Not anymore.I found out the hard way.He was bullying me.Not only him.I am not dating him anymore.Not considered family.I am just border living here.I do the dishes and i vacuum. Feel more like a slave.Cannot move.Can't afford an apartment right now.I dont have the money to go stay with my BF where he lives.Basically i am screwed either way.I hate my life.I am phically emoitonally drained.I can't sleep at night.Im afraid to take sleeping pills.(Dont ask me why?)I hate living here. I stay in my room all day.I don't want to deal with them..Or hear their crap.I get blamed for everything.No one sticks up for me.When i don't do anything wrong.Can't stick up for myself or say how i feel.I get yelled at for that.or someone in the household sticks up for them instead of me.I tried to hide a smile.So no one knows what is going on.Inside i am really depressed. Just one messed up girl.I dont know how else to explain it.I feel like cutting.That will get me no where's,In a looney bin.Definitly don't want to there.I try to stay positive about things. Than it all goes away.I cry myself to sleep sometimes. Wondering why i am even here.What is the point of being here.The only reason why i am still on this earth is because of my BF.Or i would have been gone years ago.I use to cut myself to deal with the emtional pain. I stopped doing it.My BF has a great impact on my life.. I don't know what i would do without him.He makes everything better for me.Even though i am still going through a lot of stuff right now.He is always there for me when i need him. Thank you baby.You are the best guy in the world.I truly Love you!!<3 <3<3<3<3.. I am done with my blog.Goodbye!! :):)
