Well what a wonderful Christmas. My finace bought me a gift card to a place that I've never even shopped at for new clothes......for work. He said, "I went and looked around and thought it had nice buisness clothes for your new job"...or something to that effect. His parents bought him clothes from Hot Topic which is the only place I shop unless I'm shopping for jeans, and I get shirts from fucking Sears from the boring women's department that the 40 year olds shop in.
I mean does this fucking job mean I have to fucking lose my damn identity or what? I haven't changed who I am, I've changed jobs! What the fuck!? I mean I don't know whether to yell at Dallas or just fucking cry. Maybe I'm wrong to feel this way but I do. It hurt my feelings that he didn't think more of me than that when we've been together for a year and half and lived together almost our entire relationship. He should know me better than that and I just can't beleive he didn't put more effort into it. I mean I knew what I was going to get him months ago because I fucking pay attention to what he says and I know him and I know what he likes and wants even he doesn't know it.
I'm just as distraught over the fact that I suddenly feel like my fucking job is going to define me and define who I am. I'm not going to start dressing in slacks and blouses when I go out to dinner or hang out with my friends. Thats not who I am and its not going to be. I still want my clothes from Hot Topic and I still like certain even if some of my style is changing. I'm not turning into a damn suit and I feel insulted.
A gift card! From my finace! Dammit! I mean would any of you do something like that for the person you're supposed to care about more than anyone else?!
