Just learned that the word "ferret" is derived from the Latin word furrittus meaning "LITTLE THIEF" and that a group of ferrets is called a BUSINESS, and i am absolutely pleased with this new knowledge

Remember, you are NEVER too old to be excited when you find a cool rock, when the book you're reading has pictures in it, or when it's spaghetti night. NEVER! 🙃

I'm so lazy that I bought a new mattress that just sprang me out of bed 😎😂

The fact that there are imaginary numbers in mathematics is proof that humans create their own problems and then cry 🙄🙄🥴

I'm mysterious in a "how did she get mustard on her glasses" sort of way 🥴💁🏻‍♀️

Currently working on a diary full of lies. I want my loved ones to read it after I die and be like "wait what" 💁🏻‍♀️😎

I don't have a resting bitch face. My bitch face is always on duty, ever vigilant. My bitch face will rest when its work is done... 😅

Them: Do you engage in any risky activities? ... Me: Yes, every time I give a candid statement or opinion 🤷🏻‍♀️😅

Imagine having a negative opinion about me and I have no idea who you are 🤷🏻‍♀️🙄

I can't believe i got the keys to a new house, got a promotion at work, and bagged myself a boyfriend all in the space of a week. I forgot how good the Sims 4 is 💁🏻‍♀️🙃

I'm just a good girl whose favourite things are bad 💁🏻‍♀️😎

God knew I would be too powerful if I had an attention span 🙄🙄😂

why do doctors only give stickers to kids? like hello I was also brave today 🙄

I don't like going out because wherever I'm going, there will probably be zero places to lie down while at home I have like 5 or 6 really good ones ...

Is sad to have in your life an unlived and untested love...

Have never identified more with anyone than I just did with the woman who walked into the grocery store in front of me, shook her head, and said, "I can't be making these kinds of decisions today, " and walked right back out...

"People come and go. Some are cigarette breaks, and others are forest fires."

are you ever telling a story, and halfway through, you're like Jesus, will i ever shut up 🙄🥴

The trick to always being the smartest hottest, funniest person in the room is to stay home 💁🏻‍♀️😎

Due to personal reasons AAAHHHHH